Cake Boss

Hobby Lobby is your center for finding materials for most anything arts and crafts. Don’t forget to download the 40% off coupon to your phone to use on any product in the store. Classes are taught daily.

Take a cake decorating class together, then with the skills you learned. Make a surprise cake for your spouse and bring it to their work. 

Makeout Movie

Picking a movie that both parties agree on can be challenging. For this date, have one person completely plan the dinner and the movie without any consultation with the other spouse. The catch is to have it be something they would want, not you. 

Then go to the back row of the theater (in an inconspicuous spot) and kiss frequently for long amounts of time.

Do you feel like kissing isn't your thing? Make the effort and have fun because...

Kissing stimulates the release of a 'happy hormone' known as oxytocin, which causes a natural high when it enters into the bloodstream. This hormone is known to increase happiness, lessen stress, and help you relax.

Kissing helps you look younger. Think of it as getting a facial muscle workout. The more passionately you kiss, the better workout you get. 

Kissing plays a adds emotion. Think about how you kissed when you first fell in love. It really adds to the passion and the excitement. 

Kissing can communicate with your spouse. It can be a quick "hi" ... or it could say "I love you so much and am so thankful you are in my life."  That little extra effort will speak volumes.

The obvious bonus: Those 20 seconds can tenderly (or passionately) put you in the mood for sex.

If it's not happening...you're missing a key ingredient to your relationship. 

Communicate with your spouse that you miss kissing like old times and to take on the challenge together. 

Kissing factfile. (2000, Jul 07). Northern Echo Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com/docview/328887414?accountid=9817

Lynass, R. (2007, Feb 19). Vital lives: Pucker up and keep on kissing ; relationships. Daily Record Retrieved fromhttp://search.proquest.com/docview/328160410?accountid=9817

Share the Love

Doing service for others not only brings others happiness but it can bring those serving happiness as well. Buy a dozen donuts, individually wrapped, and offer them to strangers wishing them a good day. Finish with 2 donuts for yourselves. Then, take turns eating their donut. While one person eats, the other person names all that person’s talents. When the donut is finished, switch.

Remembering the Songs When Your Love Began

Think of the time when you first began dating and what songs were big at the time. This link lists the top 100 songs of every year.  Perhaps you have some memories that were tied to songs. Enjoy a meal together, and if you are dining somewhere with live musicians, ask them to play a song that has significant meaning to you as a couple. 

Relax at Massage Envy

 As daily stresses build up, you need to find a way to release tension. A tension outlet is not only good for your personal well-being but for your marriage as well. Couples who let life’s stresses spill over into their marriage find that it can be damaging to their relationship. How do YOU manage stress? 

          One way to find relaxation is with a couple’s massage at Massage Envy Spa. Schedule your appointment ahead of time and arrive at least fifteen minutes early in order to fill out some paperwork and talk to your massage therapist about what type of massage you want. Options include Swedish, Deep tissue, Trigger Point, Cranial Sacral, Sports, Prenatal or Reflexology. Check out their website for prices, hours, and additional details. 

Feel as the tension melts away! 

          There are many other tension outlets that you can do together. Some examples include shared humor, practicing a stress-reducing conversation (which you can learn about here), engaging in a common hobby or interest, or allowing yourselves to just have fun together. What are the ways you manage stress together? Maybe you already do something  but you didn’t realize that was the purpose! Or maybe you need 

to discuss some way to reduce stress as a couple. 

Website: http://www.massageenvy.com/

Golfing

Golfing is perfect for dating! It offers time spent in the beautiful outdoors while allowing for quality conversation in a peaceful atmosphere. You can spend time on the actual course or at the driving range if you want to keep things simpler and less expensive.

Date Enhancing Idea: For every hole ask a different category of questions, the more times you have to hit the ball during that hole the more questions you have to answer! Think of questions and categories before the date, golf etiquette says you can't take too long on a hole, which means if you don't have questions previously thought up you may not have enough time to think of them!

Shooting Range

Tired of just dinner and movie? Want to try something a little more out of the ordinary? Go with your spouse to a shooting range and learn how to handle and shoot firearms safely while also having fun. Practice your aim and learn how to get as close to the target as possible. See who can hit the most bulls-eyes! 

 Date Enhancing Idea: Hold a contest; winner gets to make any request (preferably service related) and the other has to pay up sometime during the following week!  

Build Your Marriage Muscles

Take some time to work out with your spouse! Just as working out is ineffective for our fitness aspirations if it is not done on a regular basis, so is the case with our marriage. In order to strengthen those marriage muscles we must constantly set time apart from our busy lives to stay strong. 

Taking a walk together in the outdoors is a great way to stay healthy and physically and emotionally. Set a goal together to run/walk a certain amount together, and install a fitness ap to keep track to hold yourselves accountable. After reaching your goal, reward yourself with something you’ve agreed on.

 

What Character are You?

Spend the night at a comedy club in your area, or go see a local theater production. After the show, take turns sharing what you liked and didn’t like about the show. Share what character you relate to the most and share an experience in your life when you can identify with that specific character or scene. 

Visit an Art Studio

Take some time with your spouse to enjoy the many talents that others have. Visit a local art studio or museum and view some of the art from people in your area. Talk about some of the talents and hobbies that you feel you are good at, or ones that you would like to become good at someday. 

Having common hobbies can help couples deepen their sense of intimacy, connection, and especially friendship. Take an art class and paint scenery from a favorite vacation you shared together. 

A Happy Marriage Benefits Your Health

Did you know a happy marriage affects your blood pressure? According to this study, 303 people were surveyed and their blood pressure was measured for 24 hours. Researchers found there was a strong correlation between happy marriages and good blood pressure. So a happy heart is a healthy heart!

For this date, make it a surprise. Order the sandwich to go, kidnap your date, and park somewhere new you've never been.

Old Fashioned Picnic

Surprise your spouse with an old fashioned picnic! Picnics are a fun way to enjoy food and the outdoors together.

Here's a list of things you will need: 
Thick blanket/ quilt to sit on
Cooler for certain items (cheese, fruit, sandwiches, etc.)
Dishware -plates, utensils, cups, napkins (use paper and plastic to make it easy)
Basket or something to carry everything in. Doesn't have to be super fancy but try to make it nicer than plastic bags!
Food and drinks (using frozen bottles of water or lemonade can work as "ice packs" in the cooler and a drink when they thaw!)
Wet Wipes to clean off after eating
Trash bag to put dirty dishware in 
Game to play (Try the dice game, Kismet. $9 Amazon.com) or bring a Frisbee, Football, or Kite
A flower vase for some fresh flowers you find while there
Sunscreen/ Hats and a Jacket if it gets cool 
Bug spray to keep insects away

Food suggestions: 
Sandwiches.
(Try using Pesto instead of Mayo as Mayo goes bad earlier. Use thick pieces of bread and bring    the spread to put on sandwiches separately so they don't get soggy. Pesto, turkey, & tomato sandwiches are delicious and easy!)
Fruit (already cut and prepared ahead of time). 
Cheese & Crackers or French Bread (use a low moisture cheese like Gouda, Asiago, or Manchego)  
Carrot & Celery sticks
Brownies or Cookies (if using a box brownie mix, add some fun ingredients to the batter like dried cherries or fresh raspberries)

Another idea is to drive somewhere with a nice view and have the picnic in the back of your pick-up truck, SUV or car. Open the trunk, set everything up and enjoy your picnic in the back. Or if you'd rather, have a romantic picnic at home! Wait until the kids are in bed and set everything up on the floor like you would for an outdoor picnic. Tea light candles and a vase of flowers will spice up the atmosphere.


After many studies and research, Dr. John Gottman found that, “ the happiest, most stable marriages in the long run were those where the husband treated his wife with respect and did not resist power sharing and decision making with her. When the couple disagreed, those husbands actively searched for common ground rather than insisting on getting their way." (Gottman Blog) Of course, it's not always the husband who has a difficult time accepting influence from a spouse but on average, men tend to have a harder time accepting influence than women. The lesson: let your partner influence you!Discuss decisions before making them. Respect each others concerns, opinions, and insights. Accept that sometimes you are wrong and your spouse might be right. 

Practice this skill on your picnic as you navigate each other through a "blind mine" course. Bring bandanas to tie over your eyes. Scatter sticks, rocks, or other objects along the grass. One of you starts at one end of the mine obstacle course blindfolded while your spouse gives you verbal cues so that you don't step on or run into anything in the course. Practice listening to your spouse and heeding their cues in order to get out safe. Then switch roles! 

Ice Skating

Strap on your old (or new) ice skates, and get ready to hold hands, a lot!  What a better reason to hold hands than to keep from falling?  Ice skating will give you that opportunity.  Maybe you’re thinking that holding hands will actually make you fall.  Well, that maybe the case.  But nonetheless, ice skating can be a great way to laugh, have fun, and maybe get a little sore.  You might be impressed with your spouses skills on the ice (or lack thereof).  But you’ll never know unless you give it a shot.  

Center your date on holding hands.  Think about it, you probably held hands on every date before marriage.  But for some couples, holding hands might be a lost art.  It’s hard to be angry at somebody while you’re holding their hand.

Reminisce on the the first time you held hands together.  What were you doing?  Where were you? What were you talking about? Try interlocking your fingers, it might even increase your joyful feelings for one another, or even increase stability while skating.  

Stay-cation

If needed, find an overnight babysitter, and book a night at a local hotel.

Reminisce back to your honeymoon:

Preparation: Find an appropriate book on intimacy and marriage to enlighten your marriage. A great suggestion is: “Between Husband and Wife: Gospel Perspectives on Marital Intimacy" by Stephen E. Lamb, M.D. and Douglas D. Brinley, Ph.D.

While on your date: Your mini vacation will help you to feel a greater sense of togetherness. At the element be sure to try out their nice breakfast, and swimming pool.  For an increased fun-factor, take advantage of all of the extra hotel pillows and have a genuine pillow fight.  Come up with “prizes” for the one who “wins.”

Technology Free Zone

     We live in a world full of technology. Instead of using snail mail to contact distant relatives and friends, we can communicate with them in just seconds! We can watch the president speak on TV, stay connected with lots of people at once through social media, and do online networking to increase our chances of employment. These, along with many more, are the amazing benefits that come with technology. However, when technology isn't properly balanced in life, it can get in the way of our relationships. It's possible to stay connected with thousands of friends online but neglect the people that are right next to us- even our spouse. 

According to the Pew Research Center,

• 42% of 18-29 year olds felt that their partner was distracted by their cell phone when they were together
• 29% of those ages 30-49 said the same
• 25% of married or partnered adults who text have texted their partner when they were both home together.
• 18% of online 18-29 year olds have argued with a partner about the amount of time one of them spent online (compared with 8% of all online couples).

 source: http://www.pewinternet.org/2014/02/11/couples-the-internet-and-social-media/

Do you have your cell phone handy 24/7? Are you constantly checking Facebook, text messages, a digital calendar and emails?

          Plan a  "Technology Timeout" date! For an evening, put away all electronic devices including cell phones, computers, tablets, TV's, and anything else that keeps your attention.

          One way to experience a technology free zone is to go camping!! Dust off the tent and sleeping bags that have been sitting in your garage and head out to Spring Creek Park for a night. If you are in a situation with family or close friends near by, ask someone to babysit for the night while you experience a night under the stars as a couple. If you don't have that option, consider taking the kids with you and making it a technology free family camping trip! 



Ideas: 
Read a book together at fireside
Roast smores, hotdogs, starburst and other food over the fire. Experiment to see what tastes good and what doesn't. 
Do something romantic- bring a bottle of your favorite drink and nice glassware 
Make finger puppets with a flashlight on the side of the tent
Tell some spooky campfire stories . You can find some here:Spooky Campfire Legends
Play card games, Yahtzee, or another classic favorite
Star gaze- talk about what's out there- look for constellations 15 Constellation and How to Find them
Initiate a good conversation around the campfire. To encourage conversation, print out this list of 50 conversation starters for couples to take with you: 50 Conversation Starters

Shades of Happiness

Do you feel like your marriage has what it takes?

According to THIS study, marital confidence is associated with how much time husbands and wives spent together. 

So in other words, the more dates you go on, the better you will feel about your marriage! Ready to  try something totally different together? Try a luxury tanning salon. 

Any tanning salon will tell you that the key to maintain a good tan is to go regularly or else it will fade. Often people go several times a week to keep the color of skin they desire.Even the best of tans will fade through time if they stop acting on it. 

Pardon the cheesiness of this analogy, but what about your marriage? You may feel like you have a rockstar marriage, but it doesn't mean it gets put on the back burner! Keep it your priority - keep maintaining it (by spending time together, like the study says) - and you'll be basking in your shades of happiness!

The Power of Effort

Effort.

What does that word mean to you? Do you put effort into your marriage? Maybe you used to, but you've run out of ideas. Maybe you put your effort into your kids and have run out of steam. Maybe you're so focused on your spouse's lack of effort that you've given up. You've come to this blog, so that in itself shows that you're ready to put some more effort back into the marriage! Let's do this!

THIS STUDY surveyed over 8,000 respondents and found that no matter the marital status (cohabiting, first marriage, or second marriage) effort was strongly and positively associated with  satisfaction and stability.  A first marriage had the strongest correlation, but it affects all relationships.

.....Say WHAT?

Is it hard for you to use sexual vocabulary with your spouse?

THIS STUDY found an association between use of sexual terms, particularly slang terms, and both satisfaction and closeness in marriage.

It may not be easy at first, but communicating on such an intimate level cannot only be fun but it creates an area of closeness and satisfaction that is only for you and your spouse can explore together.

During this date, you're going to need some privacy. Bring a notebook and a pen for each of you.

After dinner, go sit in your car for privacy. Get out your notebook and start writing sentences for each other using a sexual vocabulary. Take turns reading them out loud. Try to think of words that you haven't used in the past. The study (mentioned above) surveyed different types of words - clinical, slang, or standard English - so don't limit yourself. Get creative and have fun!

Yes we Can!

If you were to improve a personal trait that would make help your marriage the most, what would it be? Good communication skills? Good at finances?

THIS STUDY  tried to identify personal strengths that benefit a marriage. Results indicate that perceptions of a spouse’s positive affectivity, as well as one’s own positive affectivity, are related to relationship satisfaction. This means frequent feelings of cheerfulness, enthusiasm, and energy improve one's satisfaction in their marriage the most.

On this date, make a list of all the things going on your lives right now - your stress, your fears, your worries, everything. Go through each item on the list and rewrite them with a positive twist. Follow up a week later and see how its affecting your relationship.

Hiking and Inspiration Sharing

While enjoying the restaurants and businesses in town, it can be nice to ‘get away from it all’ for a while.

The Idea: Try ‘unplugging’ from any phones (not including your camera!) or any other devices for an hour or so while enjoying the beauties of nature.

Before Your Date:

• Pack some snacks   
• Bring a camera (or charge your phone!)
• Use the bathroom
• Bring sturdy walking shoes
• Plug the address into your GPS or Google Maps to estimate travel time and find directions 

On Your Date:

 Enjoy the drive by listening to your favorite music or talking about your day.

·         Pick up a map of the maze-like trails at the front building.

      Explore the trails by choosing some from the map or just walking where it seems nice. 

·      Reconnect Activity

·         Use this time of quiet to share your source of inspiration with each other whether it is an old high school coach or teacher, or the words of Gandhi or a church leader.

Great Date Takeaway:

   Gaining perspective in a busy life is often hard to do when you are still so involved and surrounded by reminders of the business. By going out into nature you can reflect and relax with peaceful surroundings. 

Whose Team are You On?

Watch a baseball game or tournament in your area. You might feel like you need to know someone who is playing before you can watch the game but don’t let that stop you from going! Besides, no one will even know that you are a stranger to all the players. This can be a fun date and it’s different than your typical dinner and a movie. 

Both of you choose a team that you think will win and cheer for that team the whole time. Make some type of bet to make it more exciting. Maybe the winner gets to choose a 10 minute service from their spouse (such as a back scratch for the husband, a body massage, or painted toe nails for the wife.) Grab some concession treats or bring your own if you’re allowed and simply enjoy the game!

Competition is simply for fun and games, being married means you are on the same team. You should be cheering each other on, practicing to become a better spouse, and having lots of fun together. Don't let your marriage become a competition. Being on opposite teams only brings contention and heart ache. 

Talk about these questions after the games:

1. What place did your team come in? 
2. Why did you choose that team? Why did you think they would win? 
3. What made the winning team successful? What made them different from the other teams? 
4. Did you play sports when you were growing up? What is your favorite sport? 
5. Have you ever been injured while playing a sport? How did it happen? 
6. What was your favorite part about this date?
7. What does it mean to be on the same team in your marriage? How can you be better at this? 

Skydiving

Why not check something off your bucket list?  For the adventurous couple this can be something very exciting, fun and liberating from mundane activities. 

Before your date:

• Do some research; find a skydiving company somewhat close by that can guarantee both safety and fun
• Wear comfortable clothes
• Arrange childcare if needed.
• Bring Snacks

On your Date

Technically your date should start as soon as you leave the house.  So, in the car, get each other pumped for the excitement.  Listen to some classic rock n roll, or whatever music gets you riled-up. Some things to talk about are:

• What is the most adrenaline pumping thing you have ever done?
• What’s more exciting to you? Jumping out of the plain, or bragging rights?
• Are you most scared for the jump or the land?  

What you take away

You will soon see, this isn't meant to be a solo activity.  Every skydiver needs a companion to cheer them on.  This date activity can be applied to marriage.  Life is much more enjoyable when your partner is there cheering you on through your journey together.  And when you can cheer on your spouse, in each other’s endeavors, you gain loyalty and strength