The Ongoing Gratitude Date!

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When was the last time you thanked your spouse? For making the bed, helping with dishes, watching the children, or working all day? Now is the time to start thanking your spouse a part of your weekly date night. Have a notebook beside your bed or wherever you will remember to write in it. At the end of the day take one minute and write down a reason you are thankful for your spouse. It shouldn’t be the same every day. Sometime during your date night, share a few reason you are thankful for your spouse, and have them do the same. This is also a great time for communication. For example, “I’m grateful you took the kids while I finished dinner, if you could continue to do that when you can I would really appreciate it,” Your spouse can do the same with you. Being grateful shows that you see the good that your spouse is doing and not just seeing where they lack. This activity doesn’t have to be limited to just once a week, however, if you aren’t in the habit of expressing that gratitude, this is a great way to start!

Library Activities- Beyond the Check-out

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There is more to do in a library or bookstore besides checking out items. Below are a list of activities to do together that will cost nothing! This can also be done in a bookstore, and while there, grab some drinks or pastries.

1.     Find your favorite book as a child, then read them to each other.

2.     Look through some cookbooks and find a meal you would enjoy making together.

3.     Pick out a joke book and share the best ones with each other.

4.     Choose 3-4 random books. Have a conversation with each other, but only use lines from those books.

For information on your local libraries visit: World Cat (type in zip code to find local library)

Revitalize that Relationship!

Remember that marriage is give and take. Make sure to find time to talk with your spouse about the balance in your relationship. One person should not have to carry the whole load. Discuss the following points with each other:

-What do I do for my spouse on a daily, weekly, monthly basis?

-What does my spouse do for me on a daily, weekly, monthly basis?

-What do I appreciate most about my spouse?

-Ask your spouse, Where can I improve in our relationship?

Fall in Love, with This Questionaire

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Okay, so you aren’t really going to fall in love with the questionnaire, but hopefully be more in love with your spouse. A study was done to explore intimacy levels between two strangers. During this study couples had a list of questions to ask and answer. They rated their intimacy level with their fellow participant before and after the questionnaire. Many couples rated their intimacy levels higher after engaging in the questionnaire together. It takes 20-30 minutes to ask each other these questions. It is a great way to spend time together, and get to know each other all over again.

Here is the link to the questions: 36 Questions

Playdough isn't Just for Kids

Sometimes it’s fun to feel like a carefree kid; wind in your hair, dirt on your clothes and a smile on your face. But how many of us have a time machine? A good way to feel like a kid again is by playing with playdough. Many childhood memories were created with our hands, either in paint, dirt or toys. Revisit those memories with this homemade playdough recipe. It’s easy and inexpensive.

1 part Hair Conditioner or Shaving Cream

2 parts Cornstarch

Food Coloring if desired

Cookie cutters for fun shapes

Just mix all of these ingredients together in a bowl, and then knead them with your hands. It’s that simple. For softer dough, add more hair conditioner or cream. For chalkier dough, add more cornstarch. Warning, it can be messy and wearing black isn’t recommended, but it sure is fun to feel like a kid again.  

Revitalize that Relationship!

Ask your spouse these three questions about their childhood, and answer them yourself:

·       What was your favorite childhood toy?

·       What is a fun memory you have with your family as a child?

·       How can we create fun memories for our children?

Make sure not to worry about the mess or washing your hands. Just enjoy the date with your spouse and learn more about them.

Homemade Body Paint – Parent Date Night

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Sometimes, as a parent, we hear about great safe activities for our children. One idea is a homemade nontoxic paint, but we want to make sure it works. What a great idea for a date with your spouse! The recipe is simple:

2 tsp. Cornstarch

1 tsp. lotion

1 tsp. water

Food Coloring

* This recipe is good for 1 body paint color.

This paint is safe to go on skin and washes off! With this in mind, you can make a game out of your new creation of body paint. Before getting your hands dirty, make a list of objects you should paint on each other, letters, shapes, scenery or your favorite cartoon characters. Toss all of these ideas into a bowl, and take turns picking out an object to paint on the other person. You can wear an old or cheap white shirt, although there is no guarantee the paint will wash out. Have fun together being creative and laughing.

Revitalize that Relationship!

If you are a parent, discuss with your spouse about each of your children, sharing fun memories of them and how you can help them in their future activities. If you do not yet have children, discuss how you want to help your children to become their best selves.

Would You Rather...

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When we think of dates, we usually think about big ideas that tend to cost money. Dates like those are nice, and help to build great memories with your spouse. But what about those weeks where you are seemingly too busy for a date? Play a little game called "Would You Rather." Take a half hour, sit down together and try and answer the following questions. These questions are for fun, a great way to laugh and spending time with each other in a hopefully novel way.

WOULD YOU RATHER…

-Be half your height, or double your weight?

-Fight a horse sized duck, or 100 duck sized horses?

-Live in the world of Harry Potter or Narnia?

-Have a zombie apocalypse or WWIII?

-Be super-fast or super strong?

-Have no internet, or no phone?

-Change the past, or see into the future?

-Be invisible, or fly?

-Lose sense of touch or taste?

-Be able to talk to all animals or be able to speak all languages?

Revitalize that Relationship!

Life can be hectic and your relationship may be the last thing on your To Do List. However, marriage can be an uphill battle. Research shows that once kids enter the picture, marital satisfaction goes down and continues that pattern until the children leave (at which time marital satisfaction goes back up). You can’t afford to slip away from each other. Even taking an hour a week to just be together can strengthen your marriage, and help fight the odds.

Dancing Date

One way to turn up the romance side of your relationship is to schedule some dance lessons. Maybe some tango or merengue would be good to start with because they are two of the more sensual dance types. You dont have to have any dance background to start to learn to dance. That is part of the fun is being uncoordinated together and laughing it off.  

This date could potentially be turned into a multi date over several weeks. The better you become the more confidence you have together as a couple. The key here to this date is to learn something new together. This gives you something to bond over and who knows, maybe you have found your new passion together! 

Photoshoot

For all of the married couples, think back to your wedding day. It was amazing wasn’t it? If you hired a photographer you probably spend a good while taking pictures.

Taking pictures is a fun way of interacting with your spouse and to reconnect and remember back to your wedding day. Hire a photographer, or recruit a best friend to take some photos of the both of you. To take this one step further, recreate some of your favorite wedding photos. Before you go out to take pictures, pull out your old photo album and reminisce about your wedding day. Talk about what your favorite part of the day was and how your love has grown since then.

Let the new photos portray how your love has grown for each other over the years.   

Take a Hike!

In today’s world we are so caught up with Facebook and electronics. We look at computer screens far too much and we communicate with each other through our phones. It would be nice if you could take a date into nature. Leave the phones at home and take a hike in to the nearest nature park. Even though this is not a typical dinner and a movie date, it gives you an opportunity to talk face to face.

There is something about being outside and getting some exercise that gives you endorphins. It makes you happy and can help improve your relationship. If you live in a large city, even going on a walk can do the trick, but an area in nature with trees and little people would be better. 

Competitive Date

Are you and your spouse really competitive? Does it somethings get in the way of your relationship?  It is important to harness your competitive side and express it in a healthy way.

Normally in a relationship it is not good to keep score. Keeping score in a relationship can damage it. You are not against the other person, you are trying to work with them to have a healthy relationship. If you are keeping score, you may be more focused on what they have or haven’t done, that you are not present in the relationship.

A fun date is bowling. It can be during the day or at night and possibly later in the night during a cosmic bowl night for a fun time. Play against each other and keep score. Have the “winner” do something for the “loser”, opposed to the loser doing something for the winner. By keeping score in the game it is reinforcing where it is positive to be competitive and not in the relationship.

Surprise Movie Night At Home

Sometimes staying “in” on a Friday night is the best thing! You can dress comfortably and snuggle on the couch. Step it up a notch by turning your living room into a movie theater. Make some popcorn in the microwave or over the stove. Grab some of your favorite candy from the grocery store and any other snack you normally have at the movies. Rent your favorite movie or one that you have been wanting to see for a long time.

The surprise to this date is surprising your date with a movie ticket. You can create the movie ticket from a piece of paper. Get creative! Tell your date that you have a special date planned and then hand them the ticket. 

Different Dinner

How often do you cook dinner? Every night? Once a week? However much you cook at home, it is always fun to change things up. I recommend doing this on a weekend when you have some alone time to spend with your date.

Together, decide what you would like to cook. You should try something you have never made before. Try some foods from a different culture. Thai food can be simple to make a usually you can find the ingredients in a normal grocery store. Make sure that you prep and make dinner together. Think of this as teamwork, teamwork needs communication and togetherness. The outcome could be a beautiful dinner that you created together. Enjoy making something different!   

Ice Cream Crawl

An ice cream crawl is a fun way to eat ice cream and judge your favorite from a few parlors. This date can be done as a couple or in a large group. Map out a few of the top ice cream shops in your town and visit each one. You can share one scoop at each shop so that you are not eating four scoops, unless you want to.

After, you can judge the different ice cream on texture, flavor, and overall satisfaction. Have a fun time judging the different types. 

Go Camping!

Do you love the outdoors but don’t have much time to money to spend on camping? No problem! Bring the outdoors to you. Turn your backyard into a camping experience. Only use the things you have in your house (don’t buy anything extra) to use for camping gear.

Leave the phones and electronics in the house and trade it in for stargazing and marshmallow roasting. Assuming you don’t have a fire pit in your backyard, you can put a few tea light candles together and create your fire to roast your mallows.

By leaving all of the electronics and distractions in the house, you have time to talk and soak in nature. If you need some entertainment, bring a deck of cards outside and play by candlelight or with a lantern.

You could even make foil dinners in the oven and eat them outside for dinner! Happy camping!

Take Inventory

This date is for all the hard working mother and fathers who need a fun night to reconnect with their love. After the kids go to sleep, your fun begins!

Assuming that you have already had dinner, prepare a fruit plate or a dessert that you both enjoy. Sit somewhere where you both can get comfortable and cozy together. This could be in the sofa, or out on the patio. Now talk and catch up with each other. Life is crazy, and it some of the simple things get taken for granted.

Think back to the tune before you had kids. The focus was solely on the two of you. Forget the day to day normal talk, don’t talk about finances, or the list of to-dos. Focus on taking inventory on the both of you, talk about dreams and ambitions. Are there things that you have always wanted to, but haven't done yet? Let your spouse know! Everyday new things come up and you don’t want to forget about each other. Have fun with one another!

Game Night

One on one dates are awesome, but sometimes group dates are a fun way to change it up. A fun thing you can do is host a game night. You can do this at your home, your backyard or even at a local park. Invite a few couples and ask them to bring something to the date. You can play a board game, or electronic games. Some examples are:

• Apples to Apples
• Cards Against Humanity
• Say Anything
• Wii games
• Catch Phrase
• Settlers of Catan
• Scrabble

Each couple could bring something different.

• Drinks
• Snacks
• Game
• Dessert

Depending on the game that you choose, each pair of spouses could be a team, competing against the other couples. Being on a team with your spouse has a sort of bonding effect. Work hard together to win! This can teach you to be an effective communicator with your partner.

Exercising Date

We all know that life is hard. Sometimes it isn’t always possible to fit in a date every week. That’s when you have to get creative. Turn something that is an everyday task, into a date.  I personally really enjoy exercising. It keeps me in shape, makes me happy and gives me the energy for the day.  You don’t even need a gym membership to enjoy exercising.  You don’t even have to run for an hour! Make it fun! Grab your significant other and get outside.

·      Grab a basketball and walk to a park, play around the world or horse

·      Act like kids and swing on the monkey bars

·      Play on the sings

·      Have a running race, you might be surprised who wins

·      Go for a bike ride

·      Play catch

·      Go for a walk (hold hands)

·      Climb a tree

·      Kick a soccer ball around, play keep away

·      If you have a trampoline, jump on it!

Depending on the time of day after you had fun working out together, make a healthy meal, breakfast or dinner. If you had a long day at work, go home and have a fun time with your date. After, you can make a healthy dinner together. Have fun spending time with each other, joke around and be silly. Talk to each other about the day you had, the good/bad things that happened that day. Feel confident that you can tell your significant other anything and not be judged. As you are listening the other person’s day, stay engaged and offer your thoughts and suggestions. Put the cell phones in the other room and just focus on each other.

Chocolate Fondue Date

A special date doesn't have to be elaborate or expensive. You can make it romantic and thoughtful right at home! After dinner surprise your spouse with a little dessert and a romantic night. Start by lighting your fireplace (if you have one). Light a few candles and scatter them around the room. Play some background music to set the tone. Get a few pillows and a blanket and get comfy. Then bring out the dessert. If you don’t have a fondue pot, It can be as simple as melting chocolate and having some berries to dip in it. You you can also buy a fondue pot on-line for under $20.00. Enjoy an evening of talking (and kissing!)

To make your date a little more romantic, play 21 questions. Each person will come up with 21 questions to ask.

Some ideas for the 21 questions could be:

• What is your best memory of us?
• What did you think of me when we first met?
• When did you know that you were falling in love with me?
• If you could buy me anything in the world, what would it be?
• What to you think my best attribute is?
• What is your favorite date we went on?
• Describe me in three words.

Mini Shopping Spree

Go shopping with your spouse, but don't go crazy! Designate $25 or less, and purchase a small item for yourself, like sunglasses, a scarf, a hat, or cheap jewelry. Then, model your new treasures in the photo both at the mall! Take some silly pictures together and just have fun being together!

Carwash!

Have fun on  a hot summer's day by washing the car! Turn a boring task into something enjoyable and give yourself the chance to cool off. Make the task fun by having a water fight or making soap bubble mustaches!

Go Antiquing

Pick a Saturday and go downtown to visit the shops and antique stores in your town/city. Be on the look out for an item that represents or reminds you of your spouse. If desired, put a cap on the amount you are willing to spend. Purchase the item and give it to your spouse. When you get home, place the item somewhere you'll see it often to remember the important role that you play in your relationship and how much you mean to your spouse.

Reading Time

Agree on a novel or short story and take turns reading it out loud to each other. If you are not the one that is currently reading, cuddle with your spouse and relax while you listen to his/her voice. Enjoy being together as you explore new worlds and experience new adventures!

Love Letters

Spend 30 minutes telling your spouse how you really feel about him/her. Sit across from each other with paper and pen, and write a love letter to your spouse that explains what you love about him/her, why you are attracted to the other person, and what made you fall in love. Then, sit closer together and read the letter you wrote out loud to your spouse. Hold hands while you read, and afterwards, put the letters in a safe place where you can always go back to read them.

Build a Birdhouse

To go Home Depot, Lowes, your local hardware store, or Michaels, and purchase some cheap wood, nails, and paint. Go home and build a birdhouse together. Hang it from a tree in your yard and put seed outside. Enjoy the beauties of nature and the birds that come to pay you a visit!

Money Management

Talk about some of your financial goals as a couple. Where do you want to live? What kind of car do you want to have someday? How much schooling do you want to obtain? Kids? Vacations? Comforts of living?

Write down some of your financial dreams and turn them into goals. Do you want to be debt-free? Do you want to invest in certain stocks? Is there a charity you want to give generously to? Make a plan of how you can reach these goals you have. Write it down and make it realistic enough that it can be achieved.

When you're done, go out for ice cream!

Take a Walk Down Memory Lane

Spend the evening looking at photo albums of your wedding or other special events. Watch family videos, or if you don't have those, talk to your spouse about some of the fondest memories you have of your life together. Tell each other why those memories are so special and how they define you as a couple.

Invent a New Recipe

Come up with a new recipe with your spouse. Go to the store and buy random ingredients, take them home, and make something with them! Even if it doesn't turn out to be something "gourmet", enjoy the chance to be carefree in the kitchen. Take a picture of your creation and enjoy! If the recipe ends up being tasty, write down how you made it on a card and keep it handy for future reference.

Have a Photoshoot

Venture out into the city, a forest, a park, or even your backyard, and have a photoshoot with your spouse. Take pictures of one another, do funny poses, and take pictures of things you see that make n impression on you. Don't worry about looking beautiful or handsome; come as you are and enjoy seeing your spouse through a new set of "eyes".

"I am Thankful For....."

Take an hour or two to talk with your spouse about what you are thankful for. You can do this over dinner, during a drive out in the country, or on a park bench. Tell each other how thankful you are to be married to one another, and how each of you has made an impact in the lives of one another. Talk about the blessings that you have noticed in your life and how you can both be more grateful going forward.

Disney Date

Who doesn't like watching a Disney classic? Set up a blanket outside in the backyard  and bring an extension cord and TV out with you. Watch some of your favorite Disney movies while cuddling in a blanket and enjoying a nice bowl of popcorn. Take turns choosing movies, and find out why your spouse likes/dislikes certain movies.

A Competitive Service Date

Serving your spouse is always a good idea. I would hope that we all know that the more we serve someone the closer and more love we will feel towards them. Although serving your spouse is important, it can at times be hard to distinguish the areas they really want you to serve them in. So why not use a fun date night to come up with ideas?

Choose your favorite game, it can be a card game, an athletic/active game, or even a video game that you can play together. Any sort of game that allows for one winner between the two of you. Once you have both agreed upon a game, you will now think of three wishes, or things you would like your spouse to do for you. Try to keep them service related, and stay away from anything of monetary value.

Now you can begin your game! With each round you will each wager one of your three wishes. Winner takes the spoils and will get their wish granted within the next week and the other will lose their wish. Continue the rounds until you have both wagered all three of your wishes.

Won't You Stay with Me?

Go out with your spouse to a nice, dine-in restaurant and enjoy a meal together. Focus on talking to one another and don't let phones, TVs, or waiters distract you. After you've finished the meal and dessert, stay and talk to one another until you're one of the last ones in the restaurant. Use your conversation to ask each other what's new in life, about each other's past, what's ahead in the future, or what vacation you would like to take together next. Stay as long as you can, and take advantage of your time together.

Quality Time

Learn about Quality Time, one of the 5 love languages defined by Gary Chapman. No, quality time does not mean sitting and watching TV together! It means giving your undivided attention to your spouse by carrying on a meaningful conversation, practicing good listening skills, and limiting distractions. You can spend quality time together while doing an activity as long as your relationship and couple interaction are more important than the activity itself. Read more about quality time here.

On this date, practice the love language of quality time as you enjoy a walk or a bike ride on a local path or trail. Spending quality time together, especially if it’s one of your primary love languages, will create a stronger sense of togetherness in your marriage and intensify your friendship. Make sure to turn your phones on silent to limit distractions!

Your spouse should be the focus on this date. Enjoy the conversation, respond to each other, hold hands, be a good listener, and validate your spouse’s feelings. Talk about how your week went and how you both are doing mentally, physically, and emotionally. 

Watch a video that introduces all 5 of the love languages here

Take the love language quiz at http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/

Architecture Tour

Explore the different kinds of architecture that surround your city or town. Take a walk with your spouse down Main Street or somewhere downtown where you can admire the old buildings that your city/town used to thrive on. Talk about what your dream home would look like if you could design it yourself (unless you  already live there!). Talk about what excites you about the future, and how you and your spouse can take on future challenges together.

Be Good Parents, Gross your Kids Out!

Sometimes the fun of a date is all about anticipation. Your kids need the security of knowing that their mom and dad love each other, because that means stability in their lives.

So, for not only your sake, but the sake of your kids, make the moments gearing up for the date an affectionate one. 

• kiss extra long! 
• Stare into each other's eyes.
• Turn up the radio and dance in the kitchen.
• Text each other throughout the day, sharing your anticipation for that night.
• Tell your kids how much you're looking forward to your date with your love.

They may pretend they don't like it, but it's exactly what they need to hear. They'll put it in the back of their mind because one day, they're going to want the same thing for their family.

A Little Encouragement Goes a Long Way

Interesting fact: 

Did you know that going to church together is correlated with increased marital satisfaction?

  THIS STUDY found that religiously homogamous marriages had greater frequency of worship

compared to religiously heterogamous marriages. Frequency of worship was associated

with increased time spent together, which in tum was correlated with increased

marital satisfaction.

Irregardless of your choice of religion, finding a way to connect on a spiritual level will bring you closer together. Here are some suggestions of ways to connect spiritually.

Take Me Away

Sometimes we need to get away from the stale fast food and stinky socks in our minivan for the night. Take a joy ride away from the reminders of life for a few hours. Renting a car for a day is a great option - totally unpractical, unpredictable, and FUN. Don't we all need that in our lives every now and then?

Before you go, make a cruisin' music playlist together. Hit up several different drive-thru restaurants (drink, appetizer, main, and dessert). Park in between each "course" eat slowly throughout the night. After the courses are finished, find a place to park, turn up the music, get out of the car, and dance.

The Selfless Date

Have you ever noticed that after doing something really nice for your spouse you feel really good? Ever spend time serving someone and then come home to realize that all your worries have been forgotten about? Research has it that it is not by chance or coincidence that this happens.

At the National Institute of Marriage a research article shows, as many other research articles have shown as well, that those who spend time serving are much happier than those who do not. These people have greater personal relationships with others, have higher self esteem, and most applicable to you and why you are here on this blog...they have higher marital satisfaction.

Since we all want to be happier and we all definitely want to have higher marital satisfaction then maybe it's about time we start planning our dates more selflessly!

So lets get started: get out a paper and pencil and think up your spouses favorite things, maybe favorite memories, favorite activities, favorite food, even favorite sexual setting and in the case that your a girl, his favorite lingerie. Keep yourself out of the brainstorm activity completely and try to only focus on your spouses loves, some might coincide with yours which is all the better but try to keep the activity as unbiased towards your interests as you can.

Once your brainstorm is complete and you feel like you have enough to work with, create a date out of the things you have written down. For example: if one of his/her favorite memory is your proposal then try and visit the place it happened, or a place similar and have his/her favorite dinner there while listening to their favorite music. If you took your brain storming activity seriously then the date possibilities will be endless and incredibly endearing.

Tip: Take a minute after the date is complete to write down how spending all your energy trying to create your spouse's favorite date made your feel. Being able to reflect back on the positive feelings this date will inevitably bring will ensure you want to create more and more selfless dates in the future. You might be surprised to find that you spouse starts doing the same for you as well!